In just four days, winter is here again and season 7 of Game of Thrones will air… FINALLY! In honor of this momentous occasion, your Denver wedding planner Blue Linden wants to get you pumped by commemorating the on-screen Game of Thrones weddings (as set out by the show, not the book) and provide some “tips” for avoiding a Red Wedding of your own – oh and this obviously contains spoilers.
daenerys & drogo
The first of the on-screen Game of Thrones weddings was that between Daenerys Targaryen and Kahl Drogo, occurring in the very first episode. The couple started off on a strained and rocky footing (some may even say Dany suffered from a Stockholm syndrome-type scenario), but soon became some of the most beloved lovebirds of the series. Kahl helps his Kahleesi discover the courage, strength, and power that had always resided hidden inside her, and his unfortunate death leads her to finally seek the throne that is rightfully hers!
talisa & robb
In season 2 episode 10, Robb Stark elopes with Talisa Maegyr making the second of the on-screen Game of Thrones weddings, and ultimately leading to The Red Wedding, which we’ll address later. The shotgun wedding causes lots of riff between Robb and his mom, rightfully so. The couple seems to be absolutely smitten with one another, but they unfortunately don’t get the opportunity to prove if theirs is a love for the ages.
sansa & tyrion
The third of the on-screen Game of Thrones weddings is the forced and quite frankly uncomfortable one between Sansa Stark and Tyrion Lannister in season 3 episode 8. While both characters bring great things to the overall plot (Tyrion is a personal favorite because he drinks and he knows things), a 33-ish year old man marrying a 14-ish year old girl just isn’t an easy pill for most viewers to swallow, even if he is gentle and kind and totally hands-off with her.
roslin & edmure
the red wedding
Of all the on-screen Game of Thrones weddings, this is the one that’s talked about the most, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with “happy couple” Roslin Frey and Edmure Tully – the hoopla revolves around the circumstances post-reception. Season 3 episode 9 brings together two seemingly uninterested parties, who over the course of the wedding night develop into two people who seem like they’ll work it out; the event ends with the groom being imprisoned for like 2 years and the bride being a hostage of her own father. And while we’re discussing the bride and groom of the infamous Red Wedding, here are a few tips to prevent your own big day from turning into a disaster like Roslin and Edmure’s was.
- Don’t promise your hand in marriage to one person and then secretly get hitched to someone else and then attend the wedding of your original betrothed!
- If you’re attempting to tie familial lines together as a means to make peace, don’t let those eyes wander after leaving the negotiations.
- Don’t ever trust a potential father-in-law who lines his daughters up for you to choose from like cuts of meat.
- Oh, and also, if that same potential father-in-law was once a mean, ole, crotchety caretaker of a boarding school where he got his rocks off torturing children for pay, you might want to think twice about his loyalties. <— Harry Potter shoutout
- If the attendees of a wedding are questionable-looking people, make sure you hire security and pat everyone down at the door.
- If the doors and windows are barred as soon as the bride and groom run off to consummate their marriage, you might want to be on high alert and have an escape route mapped out.
- If you’re King of the North, make sure your posse doesn’t get turnt to the point where they can’t protect you in case of an attack.
margaery & joffrey
A royal affair known as the Purple Wedding, season 4 episode 2 brings the fifth of the on-screen Game of Thrones weddings between then-king Joffrey Baratheon and seductress-extraordinaire Margaery Tyrell. An awkward ceremony, followed by an extremely uncomfortable reception with drastically distasteful moments, ends in Joffrey’s death. It leaves normally-civilized viewers rooting while watching a child-king choke to death on his own poisoned blood.
margaery & tommen
The sixth of the on-screen Game of Thrones weddings makes the third king and third “Baratheon” (cause we all know those child kings are incestuously-born Lannisters) that Margaery Tyrell weds over the course of five seasons! In episode 3 of season 5, innocent, naive, 13-ish year old Tommen marries his sorta-sister-in-law, 21-ish year old Margaery, to keep the alliance between their families (aka financial stability) intact. Of course, by the end of season 6, they’re both dead – thanks G.R.R.M.
sansa & ramsay
Technically still married to Tyrion, Sansa Stark is again wed against her will to sadistic Ramsay Bolton during season 5 episode 6, making the seventh (and currently final) of the on-screen Game of Thrones weddings. With a bit of a stiffer spine than during her last nuptials, Sansa does what she must for her own survival, even managing to continue existing life after being raped and brutalized during her wedding night’s consummation, and all Ramsay encounters to follow. She eventually enacts a bit of revenge, dare we say justice, in the following season when she sics Ramsay’s own man-eating dogs on him for his final scene.
Obviously we here at Blue Linden wish much better wedding days and marriages for you than these fictional characters have gotten. But in light of season 7, we hope these recapped Game of Thrones weddings have got you ready to dive back into the world of George R. R. Martin! Tell us your favorite (or least favorite) on or off-screen Game of Thrones nuptials using the social media buttons below!